God, trauma, grief, and growth.

I could feel the trauma in my people's response to yesterday, as I took the time to let my body rest and do the good work.

I could feel the trauma.

These people
my people
have been shaken
stirred
to their core
with a mama
wife, lover, friend
whose body
doesn't always
do good work

Yet
here we all live and Love
with wavering reverence
and prayers
that God will still be good
to her
to us
to me

Ooof. Last night was rough.
I spent my sleeping hours in ferocious nightmares, loves. If I moved my husband would check in. My Blissy girl awoke at midnight to terrors, too.

So, today I will take extra pleasure in the softness of their cheeks. The rough curls of his beard. The singing birds. Our turtle swimming. Painting. Painting...

I'll be honest, my dear ones. There is a bit of rage beneath my surface this morning. That #melanoma and chronic disease and life herself has done this to us. That we must huddle and hold one another tight as fear comes like waves crashing over our home.

There is also a whole lot of thanksgiving. Eucharisto. Joy in God's goodness that death has not won.

Exhale.

Our home is so freaking awesome, friends. Our strength together. Our collective breath into life. Broken pieces elegantly knit back into wholeness. Sometimes it's a daily thing - this knitting. Something only the greatest Artist to ever be could do.

Exhale.

Have I told you how awesome YOU are lately? That your trauma, triggers, tension and trials make you shine even brighter in my eyes?

I see God in US here, my dear.
I really do.

All my love,
J.

P.S. if you too are wading through big life experiences - I implore you to look for good guides. Peter Levine’s revolutionary work is one of my personal guide-points, leading me to greater ease within hard spaces.

Please note that all proceeds from affiliate links goes toward causes centered on maternal-child mental health, including the Moms for Mental Health ministry founded by myself and other mothers inspired by those who rise and rise again.